Wear beige.

Today I'm off to Roo's school's Mothers Day lunch.

something is bothering me: is it [Mother's] or [Mothers] Day? i.e, if it's the day belonging to Mother then it would be Mother's, but if it's for all the mothers, then it would be Mothers, and so, by that reckoning, seeing as though it appears to be a day for all mothers, belonging to mothers, then it should be Mothers'. But then I guess we don't really own it........

Anyway, to celebrate the occassion, I am trotting off down the hill to the water's edge to spend a 3 hour luncheon with some other mums, and we have been asked to wear white or beige. So as not to overstimulate the senses......

Now, some of my friends, are VERY good at wearing white. I however am NOT.

I am a dirt magnet. I have never looked crisp and clean. it is not in my makeup. in the rare occasion that I have worn the wretched hue, I have come off second best - food slopped down my front, or sat on something disgusting - right on the crack, never a cheek, always the crack ?@#*!

Currently, I don't have anything white. I did have, but I managed to dye it all pink in the last wash.

So beige it is, and beige it will have to be.

I have ONE beige top, well it's possibly more peach than beige, and then again one might call it apricot or oyster, but I'm going to have to go with beige. This top is unfortunately a bit see through, so it will have to have a [formerly white] pink singlet beneath it, which will potentially make it more of a salmon colour... It is also made from a very fine cotton, so no doubt, I will slop my first sip of sparkling down the front, and my [now salmon] top will have a wet patch which will stick to the [originally white] singlet making the top a dirty sort of clay colour - AND IS THAT DIRTY SORT OF CLAY COLOUR BLOODY BEIGE?...

Probably not.

Now, what to wear on the bottom....

Happy MOTHERS & STEP-MOTHERS Day.