Mermaids

Everyone loves mermaids. No?

We definately do, so when visiting a local attraction recently, we gleefully noticed a 'mermaid appearance' about to begin.
Thrilled, we rushed with eager anticipation to the performance pool for some cool mermaid action.

Is it even possible to get a mermaid wrong?

Unfortunately, YES.

very, very, wrong....

There were 2 mermaids making an appearance that day. One was, to be fair, quite lovely - smiling prettily, swimming prettily, wet hair falling prettily. It was the other one who concerned me.... she firstly, spent most of her time flailing about on the surface of the pool, sticking her bum in the air trying to imitate a (mermaid?). It didn't work. Her tail was so full of air, that she couldn't submerge & each time she lifted her head out of the water, her face was covered with her sodden hair. Seriously, it was pretty funny. She also had the most enormous boobs which did NOT fit into her bikini top. Now, I can appreciate a great set of boobs as much as the next bloke, but has anyone ever seen a mermaid with tan marks? I think NOT - the falling out bits were flouro white and positively glowing.

So, back to the 'appearance'. One might assume that they would do a bit of a swim routine. Maybe dive into the pool at opposite ends, swim under water for a bit, then reappear together in the middle to perch on a rock, sing a luring song or the like.....that would be a fair assumption wouldn't it? Well, they swam a bit, for about 30 seconds, separately, then the 'host' asked if anyone had any questions. At this point, Xave (whose eyes I might say were glued to the mermaids) pipes up and asks the host to ask the mermaids where they'll be on New Years Eve? Classy. Every dad in the audience snickered, obviously thinking the same thoughts.... Xave then proceeded to practically harass Roo to ask exceptionally intelligent questions for a 5 year old in the hope of getting the girls to notice the clever kid's dad again...

Pathetic. And Roo didn't play the game anyway.

The worst bit (for Xave) tho' was realising after the appearance had finished, that there was an underwater viewing area.
Never mind dear. Next time.